Michelle – 0, Mandolin Slicer – 1: A Tale of Injury and Intrigue

My most epic kitchen fail (to date).

All actions involving profuse use of my right thumb are officially on hiatus until my thumb stops hurting. I sliced the side of it open on my brand new shiny mandolin (of death).  Don’t pity me (ok, a little is just fine).. it’s my own fault for not using the guard thingy.

One tetanus shot, a profuse amount of novocaine, and some cauterization later… I have become clear on a couple of things.

1) I am not coordinated enough to use a mandolin well.

2) Mandolins are freaking SHARP

3) My knife skills are questionable but my mandolin skills are even worse.



Confluent Kitchen



About The Confluent Kitchen

I am food obsessed. I love trying new recipes, putzing in the kitchen, making my own cheese and other random kitchen tom-foolery. Follow my exploits.. the good, the bad, and the burnt.
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18 Responses to Michelle – 0, Mandolin Slicer – 1: A Tale of Injury and Intrigue

  1. thekittchen says:

    I cut myself with my mandolin last month. It took a long time to heal. Such a bummer. I actually cut myself while attempting to wash it. I hope you get better soon! Mandolin are a bit scary for sure!

  2. Oh you poor thing! I’m so scared of mandolins. I try and stay away as much as possible! I hope you heal quickly!

  3. Use the guard! Or better yet, a food processor. Feel better.

  4. Ben says:

    I never would have pegged you as a Bluegrass fan.

  5. Becky says:

    Ouch! I’m afraid of my mandolin the whole time I’m using it. Sure gets the job done, though!

  6. The Mouse says:

    I too am deathly afraid of those torture devices. 😦 I bought one of those cut resistant gloves for this very purpose. While it’s not cut proof, the glove does provide a small level of confidence. Hope you heal soon.

  7. I feel your pain (really). Saturday October 20, 2012. Sliced the side of my right thumb OFF. Grating cabbage for sauerkraut on an OXO mandolin slicer. At least I got to watch some football from my EM room bed, as they tried to stop the bleeding!

    • OH JEEZ. I just did a small sliver off the side of mine.. but you’re right. That thing bled for two hours while I waited for ER help. I actually got a wee bit dizzy. I am *UBER* jealous that you had entertainment. I was essentially staring at the back side of an ugly curtain.. In any case, despite your superior entertainment choices, I still wish you a speedy recovery! 😀 PS – Am I to understand you were making your SAUERKRAUT????? Tell me more, please.. unless it results in further bodily injury.

  8. Brandon says:

    I’m joined the Mandolin victim awareness group today. My thumb has never been missed this much. I don’t know if it was a good idea to stop in the middle of and take care of it or keep pushing through and take it all off. The larger of the settings was a mighty fine choice though. I literally should have a chunk the size of a French fry gone but I didn’t feel like looking for it in my potatoes. Didn’t go get stitches and being first aid certified I got the bleeding to stop in under an hour. Just curious if anyone else on the victim panel has had the same type of injury and how long it would take to heal. 1/4 length an height u shaped and not sure how deep it goes but it’s only hanging on by less than 1/8 inch.

    • Welcome to the team. We’re sad to have you. I’m glad you were able to get the bleeding stopped. My cut was slightly longer, but just about the same shape. It took about 2.5 weeks to heal, but keep in mind.. I did have mine cauterized, and then the doctor didn’t give me great instructions for how to care for it, so I ended up taking off skin, etc when I removed my bandage for the first time, so I probably exacerbated the issue.

      My finger still feels funny, but doesn’t hurt. Yay for possible nerve damage!

      The moral of the story. Mandolin = Evil.

      I hope you heal soon.

  9. Jennifer N. says:

    I googled “cauterized thumb” and found your blog and comments. I know it’s been a while since your original post, but you’ve given me a well-needed laugh and answers. Thank you! I did this to my thumb yesterday. It was cauterized this morning. I haven’t had this much pain since major surgery!

    • Just saw this comment. It didn’t hurt at the time, but moving the gauze off of it after the fact.. Oh god. That was so intensely bad. My cuticle is missing a little bit on my thumb, but otherwise it healed up well. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!!!

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