“Meatless” Meat: My Epiphany

Being a recent convert (re-convert, post-pre convert) to a mostly meatless life, I’ve been focused heavily on coming up with  veggie-centric meals this time. Past experience has shown that relying on quorn, boca, morningstar,tofu, or TSP for my entrees tends to go badly. So far I’ve done a mac and cheese, some chili, some spicy udon, a delightful curry, and I’ve got a pretty awesome gratin in the works for tonight, so stay tuned. *winky face*

All of that being said, there will be times when I will have go to places that have very limited veggie options. Case in point.. today.

The Confluent Boyfriend decided today that he’d like to go to Umami Burger. Being culinarily adventurous, I was like, ‘OK GAME ON!”. and I took my shiny new vegetarian ideals there and grabbed the ‘Earth Burger’.

The ‘Earth Burger’ – a mushroom edamame burger from Umami Burger, (Image courtesy of http://blog.cookingchanneltv.com)

 

Some ridiculously excellent truffled french fries and a mealy, bland veggie burger later.. something occurred to me that could have saved me countless dollars and several crappy meals over the years…

and wait for it…

I don’t like meat substitutes. Being a veg for health reasons, rather than ideological reasons, I still want a burger. The unmistakable smoky grilled  flavor, the texture.. the smell.. only, I know it’s bad for me. I periodically try another of these meatless options, hoping that it will compare and it never does.

I find them offensive as whole. They are simply food masquerading as other food. They are inferior in every way. Poor texture, strange smells, meh taste. There is nothing that isn’t meat, that will look, feel, or taste like meat.

It’s time to let the dream die.

Shit. I feel like I need a support group now or something.

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