Strange Bedfellows: Tofu with Hollandaise Sauce

I’ve been thinking a lot about flavor profiles, and how I can get what I want out of my food without the meat or excessive sodium. Prior to today, I’ve really been phoning it in. Slapping a piece of fish on a pan, broiling it, and doing some veg. While an altogether passable meal at most times..

I felt the artist in me dying a little. I do think of cooking as art. I take things that are otherwise unrelated and turn them into something entirely different. That something is beautiful, and also edible. Bam. Artist. See?

Anyway, so I am blogging about bacon like a whiner, and woefully lamenting my dying inner artist (which secretly I will continue to do inside forEVER when it comes to the loss of bacon) when it hits me. While I am purposely limiting the types of foods that I take in, I DON’T have to limit my creativity. I think to myself, what do you want that you haven’t had in a while that isn’t bacon?

I came up blank for a bit, but then I was like.. steak.. SHIT. Can’t have that either. I continued to ponder and thought … what about …mmmm eggs benedict.. then I thought, ‘FUCK. Canadian bacon.’  and then kept thinking how it would be total bullshit without the bacon.. however, I could work with a poached egg and some hollandaise sauce. I decided no on the poached egg, but YES on the hollandaise.

Alright now I’ve got one component of dinner now. What do I serve with it? Fish is the obvious choice for an entree but.. I gotta tell you. If I see another piece of fucking broiled fish any time soon, I’m gonna die. Literally. I’m just gonna die.

My brain continues to work on this through out the day when I should’ve been working. Finally I am settled on the tofu I picked up when I was being a good little vegetarian. Tofu sucks, for the most part. The texture is squishy, and it reminds me of egg whites in that it has no flavor. I don’t care how you marinate it, whether that shit is baked… It’s bland and texturally … yucky. I’ve got it, but now what to do with it?

I decide since I am doing hollandaise, I really need a textural contrast. I can’t have watery floppy food with my precious hollandaise. I just won’t do that. I decide I am gonna bake it.. and then I think about how hot it is outside and veto it. Pan frying it is!

I sliced and crispified several pieces of extra firm tofu. I whipped up my hollandaise..

1 lemon, juiced
4 egg yolks
1 stick butter, cubes
Salt and Pepper

Add the the lemon and yolk to a glass or metal bowl, whisk thoroughly until foamy and lighter in color. Place on top of a sauce pan with simmering water. Add the cubes of butter one or two at a time and literally beat the hell out of it so the egg doesn’t cook. Don’t switch the laundry, don’t change the song on your Ipod. Whisk. Once the butter is encorporated, your sauce will look thick and pretty. Salt and pepper  it. Pour over the tofu lovingly.

Julia Child says white pepper, btw. I say, use what you have. Clearly I’m more reliable right? 😀

So now I’ve got this amazeballs entree, but nothing to go with. I think, ‘What would be pretty but quick because this is already too much manual labor for a work day?’

Pureed Peas and Garlic.

1 small bag of frozen peas
1 clove garlic minced
Salt and Pepper
Use your previously simmering water and cook the peas until warmed through. Mince garlic. Add cooked peas, 1/4 cup cooking liquid and raw garlic to a mini prep, bullet, food processor, stick blender or whatever chopping device you use. Blend until smooth but not liquefied.

Tofu with Hollandaise Sauce and Garlic Pea Puree.

Tofu with Hollandaise Sauce and Garlic Pea Puree.




About The Confluent Kitchen

I am food obsessed. I love trying new recipes, putzing in the kitchen, making my own cheese and other random kitchen tom-foolery. Follow my exploits.. the good, the bad, and the burnt.
This entry was posted in Bad Food That Tastes Great, Cooking, deep thoughts, Food, French Food, Organic, Putzing in the kitchen, Rambling, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Strange Bedfellows: Tofu with Hollandaise Sauce

  1. I’m definitely trying this. It looks absolutely delicious! Can’t wait.

  2. Ben says:

    Since you are using butter, an animal fat, why not saute a thin fish in bacon fat? The flavor won’t be full on breakfast strip, but you will get more pig than ocean. This is not an entree to the dark side as I think it fits your requirements and makes me happy with a pun. Everyone wins.

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